Bedtime Stories

Host: Rab Book: The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

Cast

 * Interviewer - Ian Carins
 * Jackie - Desmond Hamilton
 * Taxi Driver 1 - Ian Hanmore
 * Priest - Alex Howden
 * Eddie - Ross MacFarlane
 * Wee Jackie - Jack McElhone
 * Writer - Ben Miller
 * Lars - Gotti Sigurdarson
 * Clare Pettengill - Anne Dudek
 * Dirka Nilssen - Bonnie Engstrom
 * Janice McCann - Michelle Gomez
 * Barney Glendenning - James Lance
 * Kenny McLeod - Rory McCann
 * Fist de Grooke - Saskia Mulder
 * Rab - Derek Riddell

Part One
Rab is updating a scrapbook about Jackie McCann when Clare telephones him, asking him to host the next meeting. Kenny exercises with Fist and Dirka, pushing them to work hard. Barney visits Clare with flowers and a song, then passes out in her entryway. Janice attends a talk with the author Martin Logan, asking lots of questions. Clare frantically calls Kenny at work, requesting help with Barney. Fist and Dirka vie for Kenny’s attention. Janice’s suggestion that Martin Logan’s writing is formulaic unsettled him, and he meets with her individually after the talk to defend himself. Kenny encourages Barney to visit a rehab group. When Clare realizes that he’s on drugs, she’s honored that, as she sees it, he came to her for help; she and Kenny both promise to support him. Janice and Martin continue their discussion over wine. She reveals that she’s in a “steady” marriage, but the atmosphere remains flirtatious. Meanwhile, Rab visits Jackie at the McCann house and, presumably, they are instantly kissing. Martin and Janice prepare to have sex, Janice praying. She realizes she’ll finally have something interesting to say in confession. Rab lounges naked in the pool as Jackie runs through his recent highlights. Janice tells Martin about her concerns that Jackie isn’t giving enough attention to their son. Martin would rather discuss his book, so rather than telling him more of what she thought about it, Janice gets him started and then falls asleep.

Part Two
As Janice arrives at book group, Rab tells her that he’s going to work as Jackie’s personal assistant (or secretary). Fist thinks it’s a bit silly that they read a children’s book, but Clare praises Rab for choosing a very meaningful story. It seems reasonable to Kenny that they would cover a wide range of books. Barney has a headache and clearly thinks Clare is being heavy-handed with her “support.” Janice mistakes the book as being part of the Thomas the Tank Engine series, a favorite of Wee Jackie. There’s a quarrel over whether the book is American. It is. Janice tells the group that she met Martin Logan and suggests they read his new book next. Barney proposes they read one of Clare’s books instead, implying that he’s not convinced such things actually exist. Clare refuses, saying it feels too personal. As she leaves, Janice announces that she and Martin are having an affair. Later, Kenny quotes The Little Engine as he trains in his racing chair. Fist asks to try the chair, and after a moment he agrees. He is quiet as she whoops with joy. Janice comes home to find Rab looking through the post, which he explains is part of his job, but she doesn’t like it. He assures her he hasn’t told Jackie about Martin Logan. Lars protests a change to his team’s uniform over the phone until Dirka tells him to stop so they can eat dinner. More bothered than Lars understands, Dirka calls the leisure center looking for Kenny. He is talking with Fist, who tells him she can forget about the lower half of the body in regards to exercise and, it is implied, love. He doesn’t commit to a reaction. Janice sees the priest for confession. They are clearly friends and though she admits to her affair with shame, they share a moment of delight that she did this with someone rather famous. Barney is trying to read, despite the water dripping on his shoe from his neighbors’ overflowing bathtub, when Kenny visits. Dirka and Fist share a daydream about having sex with Kenny. Janice tells the priest all the juicy details. When he learns that Jackie has a new secretary, he wonders whether Jackie is having an affair too, but Janice laughs this off because it’s a man. Kenny and Barney smoke together as Kenny confides he isn’t sure what to do about Fist. He doesn’t know why she would want to use the chair when she has such great legs. Barney, still sore over the way Fist turned him down, encourages Kenny not to think too highly of her. Clare visits unexpectedly to see how Barney is doing. He can’t stand her cloying attitude and chases her off, to Kenny’s disapproval. Janice reads Wee Jackie to sleep with The Little Engine That Could while Clare walks home and cries.